| 14 March, 2009 |
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Nothing fails like success. Success and failure are equally disastrous. Everyone who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching. So little time, so little to do. Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned. A pessimist is a person who has to listen to too many optimists. We are given children to test us and make us more spiritual. It could probably be show by facts and figures that there is no distinctively native American criminal class except Congress. Courage is the fear of being thought a coward. What is virtue but the trades unionism of the married. If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing. The need of exercise is a modern superstition, invented by people who ate too much and had nothing to think about. I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education. When in doubt, duck. Our best work is done when it needs to be. There is no free lunch. Mahatma Gandi was what wives wish their husbands were: thin, tan and moral. There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first. Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. If you want to read about love and marriage, you have to buy two separate books. Marriage is based on the theory that when man discovers a brand of beer exactly to his taste he should at once throw up his job and go work in the brewery. The cowards never start and the weak die along the way. It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong. Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time. Sin is geographical. Like its politicians and its wars, society has the teenagers it deserves. Philanthropy is the refuge of rich people who wish to annoy their fellow creatures. He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news. Man is a hating rather than a loving animal. The people are that part of the state that does now know what it wants. The discovery of America was the occasion of the greatest outburst of cruelty and reckless greed known in history. If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words. My work is done, why wait? Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional. Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult. Psychiatry is the care of the id by the odd. Psychoanalysis is that mental illnes for which it regards itself a therapy. No statue has ever been put up to a critic. Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs. Change your thoughts and you change your world. My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked. Television is democracy at its ugliest. Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms. Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one. Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended. |
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