| 2 April, 2009 |
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Death: To stop sinning suddenly. I have always loved truth so passionately that I have often resorted to lying as a way of introducing it into the minds which were ignorant of its charms. Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago. If I ask a woman if she has suffered sexual harassment, could this be considered sexual harassment? Our Constitution protects aliens, drunks, and U.S. senators. The classes that wash most are those that work least. As it is more blessed to give than receive, so it must be more blessed to receive than to give back. If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been owing more to patient attention, than to any other talent. Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Marriage: a long conversation chequered by disputes. An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court. If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill always came together, who would escape hanging? It is possible to be below flattery as well as above it. People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence. We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and mystery. Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense. That orgy of wishful thinking that has passed for logic in the present century. Democracy is the bludgeoning of the people, by the people, for the people. You can pick out actors by the glazed look that comes into their eyes when the conversation wanders away from themselves. Working in the theater has a lot in common with unemployment. One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend. The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the last half by our children. Virtue is its own punishment. If the wind will not serve, take to the oars. Never believe anything until it has been officially denied. Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense. Most people enjoy the inferiority of their friends. I am a deeply superficial person. Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious. Do Not Disturb signs should be written in the language of the hotel maids. Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level. Never forget that the most powerful force on earth is love. No one travelling on a business trip would be missed if he failed to arrive. Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. It is an art like any other. Its virtuosi are called altruists. A loving wife will do anything for her husband except stop criticizing him and trying to improve him. The woman who cannot tell a lie in defense of her husband is unworthy of the name of wife. What a blessing it would be if we could open and shut our ears as easily as we open and shut our eyes. Ignorance is the mother of admiration. Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely. Outer space is no place for a person of breeding. Men should not try to overstrain their goodness more than any other faculty. Life is like playing the violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature. To fall in love you have to be in the state of mind for it to take, like a disease. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. Better to have loved and lost a short person than never to have loved a tall. |
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