| 26 March, 2009 |
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There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. Fishing, with me, has always been an excuse to drink in the daytime. Truth, in the matters of religion, is simply the opinion that has survived. Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton. Method acting? There are quite a few methods. Mine involves a lot of talent, a glass and some cracked ice. I enjoy being a highly overpaid actor. England produces the best fat actors. The only way to succeed is to make people hate you. Any new venture goes through the following stages: enthusiasm, complication, disillusionment, search for the guilty, punishment of the innocent, and decoration of those who did nothing. Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education without natural ability. California: The west coast of Iowa. The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent. The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving any excuse. Since the whole affair had become one of religion, the vanquished were of course exterminated. Adultery is the application of democracy to love. Adolescence is the stage between infancy and adultery. Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome. Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal. Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. I suppose that I shall have to die beyond my means. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. The only way to reform some people is to chloroform them. The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money. When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat. One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. Indolence is a delightful but distressing state; we must be doing something to be happy. Life would be tolerable but for its amusements. Finishing a book is just like you took a child out in the back yard and shot it. When in doubt, have two guys come through the door with guns. Henry James writes fiction as if it were a painful duty. Henry James chews more than he bites off. Henry James was one of the nicest old ladies I ever met. Henry James would have been vastly improved as a novelist by a few whiffs of the Chicago stockyard. Henry James created more convincing women than Iris Murdoch put together. Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards. How to win a case in court: If the law is on your side, pound on the law; if the facts are on your side, pound on the facts; if neither is on your side, pound on the table. There are women whose infidelities are the only link they still have with their husbands. Love: two minds without a single thought. The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you. Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. In Biblical times, a man could have as many wives as he could afford. Just like today. A duty dodged is like a debt unpaid; it is only deferred, and we must come back and settle the account at last. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to. A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled. As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to bring the news to you. |
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