| 3 Feb, 2009 |
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The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism. I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time. The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. Food is an important part of a balanced diet. The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid. Of those who say nothing, few are silent. Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. War is not nice. You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations. Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea. There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. Civilization is the distance man has placed between himself and his excreta. Houston, Tranquility Base here. The eagle has landed. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life. It is a good morning exercise for a research scientist to discard a pet hypothesis every day before breakfast. It keeps him young. It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead. The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more. I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly. Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought---particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things. Our lives improve only when we take chances -- and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves. From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life. The three fundamental Rules of Robotics...One: a robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm...Two:..a robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law...Three: a robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First and Second Laws. The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool. You white people are so strange. We think it is very primitive for a child to have only two parents. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Television is the first truly democratic culture -- the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want. Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there. Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think. For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. Feeding the starving poor only increases their number. Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing. War is like love; it always finds a way. What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone? All technology should be assumed guilty until proven innocent. Take away the right to say "fuck" and you take away the right to say "fuck the government. You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it. An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these. Rest in peace. The mistake shall not be repeated. Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them. |
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