| 30 March, 2009 |
 |
 |
 |
|
If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a man shoots himself. Man is what he believes. We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them. Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb. Traditionalists often study what is taught, not what there is to create. I know a mother-in-law who sleeps with her glasses on, the better to see her son-in-law suffer in her dreams. Our imagination is the only limit to what we can hope to have in the future. Good taste is the enemy of creativity. Reviewing has one advantage over suicide: in suicide you take it out on yourself; in reviewing you take it out on other people. Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects. Nobody ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have while trying to write one. I do not say a proverb is amiss when aptly and reasonably applied, but to be forever discharging them, right or wrong, hit or miss, renders conversation insipid and vulgar. I hate quotations. The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think. Morality is simply the attitude we adopt toward people we personally dislike. Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning. Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything. Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair. The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way. I detest converts almost as much as I do missionaries. What if there had been room at the inn? Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? Religions change; beer and wine remain. When the doors of perception are cleansed, man will see things as they truly are, infinite. There is no money in poetry, but then there is no poetry in money either. I hope that one or two immortal lyrics will come out of all this tumbling around. They devoted the city to the lord and destroyed with the sword every living thing in it - men and women, young and old, cattle, sheep and donkeys. Reason should direct and appetite obey. Remarriage is an excellent test of just how amicable your divorce was. A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to comprehend his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it. I have the true feeling of myself only when I am unbearably unhappy. The world is a prison in which solitary confinement is preferable. It is a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money. In heaven all the interesting people are missing. The fixity of a habit is generally in direct proportion to its absurdity. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Love: The delusion that one woman differs from another. A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together... Alimony: the ransom the happy pay to the devil. If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce. I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity that would be clearly understood. Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth. It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up. |
Joomla! is Free Software released under the GNU General Public License.
