| 7 Feb, 2009 |
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The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post. We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience. Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well. What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public. No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions. There is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness. If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia. Science is to see what everyone else has seen but think what no one else has thought. Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether. Like having your own licence to print money. I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere. Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness. If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him. When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship. Know the masculine, keep to the feminine. Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. I really wonder what gives us the right to wreck this poor planet of ours. In the future everyone will be world-famous for fifteen minutes. A week is a long time in politics. If people did not sometimes do silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done. Resistance is useless. Good place to put things--cellars. Rest is for the weary, sleep is for the dead. I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my shelf. First things first, but not necessarily in that order. Logic merely enables one to be wrong with authority. Anybody remotely interesting is mad, in some way or another. It may be irrational of me, but human beings are quite my favorite species. According to classical aerodynamics, it is impossible for a bumblebee to fly. The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views...which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering. I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know? If God dropped acid, would he see people? If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live. If it is to be, it is up to me. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets. Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind. Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. Education is what you get from reading the fine print. Experience is what you get from not reading it. Fishing gives you a sense of where you fit in the sceme of things - Your place in the universe...I, mean, here I am, one small guy with a fishing pole on this vast beach and out there in the blue expanse of ocean are these hundreds of millions of fish...laughing at me. The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath. My mother buried three husbands ... and two of them were only napping. I was born because my mother needed a fourth for meals. He had a big head and a face so ugly it became almost fascinating. The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year --- everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth. Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. Instant gratification is not soon enough. |
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