| 8 April, 2009 |
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The perfect host requires the perfect parasite. The chief objection of playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player. Even in civilized mankind faint traces of monogamous instincts can be perceived. People that are really weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history. And thou shalt smite thine enemy even unto the wall, gnashing thy teeth, and he shall grow small in thy mirrors. There are situations in which torture is not merely permissible but morally mandatory. When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends. Close your mouth, Michael; we are not a codfish. While I am not a fan of corporal punishment, I am not a fan of his friends Major Nuisance or General Disturbance. A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it. The place where optimism flourishes the most is the lunatic asylum. I am a gentleman: I live by robbing the poor. Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you. Be aware that a halo has to fall only a few inches to be a noose. No man should marry before he has studied anatomy and dissected the body of a woman. I pride myself on the fact that my work has no socially redeeming value. The only people who seem to have nothing to do with the education of the children are the parents. The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists the circulation of the blood. ...they no longer felt like newlyweds, and even less like belated lovers. It was as if they had lept over the arduous calvary of conjugal life and gone straight to the heart of love. They were together in silence like an old married couple wary of life, beyond the pitfalls of passion, beyond the brutal mockery of hope and the phantoms of disillusion: beyond love. For they had lived together long enough to know that love was always love, anytime and anyplace, but it was more solid the closer it came to death. I love acting. It is so much more real than life. The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth. Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none. By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day. I really do plan to get out of show business within five years or so. I believe that all of us ought to retire relatively young. Who could follow Carson? Well, believe me, somebody can - and will. Our patience will achieve more than our force. I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. . . . Corporations have been enthroned, an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money-power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until the wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed. The human race may well become extinct before the end of the century. Racism, pollution and the rest of it are themselves very close to extinction. No national political party is going to nominate another right-wing candidate for a long time. Big nations are like chickens. They like to make big noises, but very often it is no more than squabbling. We always have been, we are, and I hope that we always shall be detested in France. Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, especially if the goods are worthless. The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced. Make your bargain before beginning to plow. Seize from every moment its unique novelty, and do not prepare your joys. If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to? In order to fully realize how bad a popular play can be, it is necessary to see it twice. Whatever else an American believes or disbelieves about himself, he is absolutely sure he has a sense of humor. Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible. Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully ignorant. Society produces rogues, and education makes one rogue cleverer than another. No opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. One must be poor to know the luxury of giving. A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants. A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. A critic is a legless man who teaches running. It is a curious thing ... that every creed promises a paradise which will be absolutely uninhabitable for anyone of civilized taste. |
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