| 8 Feb, 2009 |
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Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other. -Denise Klahn Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him. The natural superiority of women is a biological fact, and a socially acknowledged reality. The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing --- and then they marry him. Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them. Not only have women been successful in entering fields in which men are supposed to have a more natural aptitude, but they have created entirely new businesses. I never realized until lately that women were supposed to be inferior. Canadians are cold so much of the time that many of them leave instructions to be cremated. I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. In New York City, one suicide in ten is attributed to a lack of storage space. I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ``Get the hell off my property. Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. To attract men, I wear a perfume called ``New Car Interior. Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him of the entire weekend. We owe something to extravagance, for thrift and adventure seldom go hand in hand. Her only flair is in her nostrils. To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep. It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. Anyone with more than 365 pair of shoes is a pig. Brevity is the soul of lingerie. A hundred years for now? All new people. When the sun comes up, I have morals again. If Shakespeare had to go on an author tour to promote <br>Romeo and Juliet<br>, he never would have written <br>Macbeth<br>. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. I rely on my personality for birth control. I tried to commit suicide by sticking my head in the oven, but there was a cake in it. Opportunity knocked. My doorman threw him out. Never do anything yourself that others can do for you. How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own? Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself. Sex is a bad thing because it rumples the clothes. My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one. Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. Travel, instead of broadening the mind, often merely lengthens the conversation. The only aspect of our travels that is interesting to others is disaster. Life is hard. After all, it kills you. My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger. I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that they just about throw up. The sins of the fathers are often visited upon the sons-in-law. Things are always darkest just before they go pitch black. Having something to say is overrated. A book of quotations . . . can never be complete. His voice was a intimate as the rustle of sheets. Art is one thing that can go on mattering once it has stopped hurting. The worst moment for an atheist is when he feels grateful and has no one to thank. Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near. There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. |
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